More Preparation….Toes OK, and the mental training is working well…

As you may have picked up, the effects of the frostnip on my toes, from the December Yellowknife training, have been concerning me. (Just a niggle in my mind, as I review my potential weaknesses / vulnerabilities for surviving 50+ days on the ice.) I still have this strange numbness in four toes that comes and goes, seemingly erratically.

Well, today I had a thorough check up with the doctor and she was 100% happy that I have “Full and normal, use of my feet and toes”. I am just suffering from some nerve end damage, that is not circulation related, and nothing to worry about. Hmmm, she sounded pretty convincing but she isn’t doing the trip! It was a very therapeutic doctor’s appointment, and for one of the tests I ended up lying on my back blindfolded while she randomly ‘massage tickled’ my toes requiring me to acknowledge the attention! Hmm…., it was tempting to purposely fail, so I got more! Anyway it was good for my mind to get the 100% verdict, as I have been feeling that this was start line vulnerability, which is never good.

For those more sensitive viewers, please skip this next section!

I decided to take these photos of my feet, firstly to show you how they look post Yellowknife, and pre the expedition, and secondly, bizarrely there is a chance they may never look the same after the expedition…! So these are the ´Before´ shots, with the Áfter´one to follow in May, hopefully with little noticeable change!













Like previous extended adventures, I have taken accurate measurements around my physical condition and I look forward to look at the before and after changes. I have noticed that my pre expedition training has increased my leg and upper body bulk and definition, my only slight concern is my lower than desired weight. Maybe the next week or so in Yellowknife can see me correct that with an eating binge! Overall, the eating / calorie plan is designed to be almost balanced over the duration of the expedition, meaning that, unlike many similar expeditions, we are planning to match daily calorie usage with intake. Somehow, I am sure I will return a bit leaner!

I’d imagine, like many of the multi-week, endurance adventures I have done, this expedition is going to be mostly mental, and probably ‘The Most’ mentally challenging one to date…. As a regular daily reminder of this fact, (not that I need reminding!), I do 50 non stop, press ups. Why 50? Well 50, is a pretty ‘tough amount’ for me to do non-stop, but 50 is also the number of days I am hoping we can complete the expedition. (Hmmm, I hear some of my fellow team members saying you can’t plan on the number of days!) So, as I do each press up I imagine it’s that number day of the expedition, and go through the internalisation of how I will probably feel on that day:
….Day 1, scared and overawed by my first encounter with the real Arctic, “Why am I doing this?”…. Day 5, gee this has been tough, I never knew the pack ice / terrain would be so difficult, and the cold…”Will I ever get to feel ‘sort of ok’ in this environment?”, and we have only covered about 5% of the distance, but ok….. Maybe 10% of the time, but who knows? Gee, this is going to be a long hard trek! But hey, it is amazing and beautiful to be out here in this special place, how lucky I am to be here. .... Day 15…Aahh, progress a bit easier, and I am into the routine now, almost enjoying it (ha-ha!), and it sort of feels sustainable, but still a long way to go,…..Day 19, Gee we started the day further south than we did the day before! With the southerly current, Nature is teaching me a lesson in patience and human significance. This is very frustrating! Day 25….hopefully halfway (time wise).I find halfway is sometimes the toughest point as one looks back at how long and hard it felt to get here, and realizes that its now ‘The same again’!....Day 35, the ‘back is broken’, and we are about 70% through, gee its nice to have that amount of progress behind us…. Day 45, and 5 days to go…”No, prepare yourself for at least 7 more, that will be good for dealing with the ‘end anxiety’ that always kicks in: Don’t think of that first warm bath yet! Are we going to make it? When do we up the pace, and make a push for the Pole? Press up 50...Aahh we have made it, and yes there is a still be of physically capacity left to do another 7-10 press ups, if I have to, but that would kill me, and I am happy to be able to stop at 50! It feels great, gee and as I look back those 50 went quite quickly!!
On the odd day I do extra press ups, a random number, just like the Arctic, anywhere up to 60, just to remind me, that there is definitely no certainty in the 50, and on those days, I think through all the setbacks / challenges we could face and how I will mentally fight back and overcome them. I have found this very useful in helping me think through the phases of the journey, but probably reality will be something completely different! I believe the specifics are not as important as the process of thinking it through… We shall see…Reality will unfold, creating Reality!

In reading through this, you may feel I am painting a very negative picture of the journey, and question why would someone want to struggle like that? Well, more about my motives in a separate Post to come, but I am a firm believer in being a realist, and have even classified myself as a ‘pessimistic realist’. On all my reading, I have found that this dimension (Pessimistic Realism) is a very important part of successful adventures (Business too!), in that one pro-actively thinks through the challenges and potential problems. Being aware of these challenges, and internalizing as best one can how one will feel and deal with them, results in less anxiety, better preparation and probably as a result, less likelihood of a bad outcome resulting. Unlike what it may appear at first read, if I do all this in the context of the excitement of exploring the unknown, following my dreams, and having highly meaningful goals for the adventure / expedition, the WHOLE process is VERY optimistic and motivating.

Only a few days now before leaving London....